I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
