I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize