OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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