"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
