I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
