38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
