Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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