Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize