Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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