It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
