I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
