was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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