OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
