dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
