i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
