So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
