so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize