Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize