remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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