his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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