I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!