I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?