an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize