Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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