a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
