whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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