if you like me you must not know who I am
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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