So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
