what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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