Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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