just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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