She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
