I bet he comes in French.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
