he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
