Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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