that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
