I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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