I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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