She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
