i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
