I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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