it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hello my rib-scented angel!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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