how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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