youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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