I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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