gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
