Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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