I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize