got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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