Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
