either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
