I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
