I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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