She said her name was "party"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
