This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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