her vagine was all disorganized.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
